Breaking Up
by hermiine
Summary: Rewrite of Adrift. Harm and Mac break up with their respective significant others. COMPLETE
1. Part 1

Breaking Up  
  
Author: hermiine (hermiine85@yahoo.com)  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own the characters in this little story.  
  
Spoilers: Adrift II (nothing major, really), possibly also for New Gun In Town in the future  
  
Summary: Rewrite of Adrift. Harm and Mac break up with their respective significant others.  
  
Author's Notes: Just a short story I wrote in 30 minutes. It takes off right after the scene in Adrift II where the JAG-family visits Harm in his hospital room. It hasn't been beta-read, but I hope you'll enjoy it anyway. Feedback is very welcome.  
  
Part 1  
  
Mac and Mic were standing in the hospital's cafeteria. The comment Mac had made during the visit with Harm about the wedding being the least of their concerns had definitely concerned Mic and now he wanted to know what she had meant by it.  
  
"So, about that new date," he started.  
  
"Mic," she swallowed and continued "We have to talk about that, but somewhere in private..."  
  
"Yeah, OK," Mic realized where this was going, but decided to stick it out and wait until they really had that conversation "Let's take Chloe to the airport and then we'll go somewhere and talk."  
  
***  
  
During the drive to the airport Chloe had been glad and optimistic. She was talking about coming back later for the wedding. Mic and Mac had played along, but neither of them could get the thought of the conversation, that they were going to have soon, and its probable outcome out of their heads. It didn't seem like Chloe noticed any of the tension between the two of them and they were grateful about that. They didn't want to talk about 'them' with someone else, before they had cleared everything with each other first. Once she was on the plane Mic and Mac turned to go home.  
  
***  
  
"Let's sit down," Mic said once they entered the apartment. They both sat down, Mac on the couch and Mic on the armchair next to it so they were facing each other.  
  
"There's no easy way to say this. Mic, I don't want to reschedule the wedding. I want to break off our engagement," Mac said. She talked calmly, because for once she knew exactly what she wanted to do and it wasn't just a reaction of what someone else had done.  
  
"I guessed so much. Why did you accept my proposal, Sarah?"  
  
"I accepted because I wanted to have a family and I thought I could share that with you. At the time I already liked you and I thought I could learn to love you and I did, but I haven't fallen in love with you and I doubt I ever will. You're a good man, Mic, and you deserve more than I can give you."  
  
"And now you'll go to Harm and hope to give him that," Mic said and there was no anger in his voice. He had given up on her.  
  
"This isn't about Harm. It's about YOU and ME," Mac said and it was true. Her feelings for Harm had not been a factor in the decision to break up with Mic. It was the lack of those feelings for Mic.  
  
"I guess better now, than six months down the marriage," Mic said and Mac felt as he was accusing her of ruining the relationship.  
  
"I didn't plan for this to happen," Mac said in defence of herself as much to Mic as to herself.  
  
"I know you didn't," Mic said and got up "I'll be back tomorrow when you're at work and get my stuff."  
  
"I'm really sorry about this, Mic," Mac didn't want to leave things between them like this.  
  
"So am I, Sarah, but I don't regret leaving Australia and coming here. It was worth a shot," Mic realized that he wanted to end things with her the right way, so that they both would be able to move on and start on a new page. He turned around and started to walk towards the door.  
  
"I'll miss you," Mac said to Mic's back. She was going to miss his friendship and companionship, but not him as her fiancé. That was the harsh truth and Mic knew it just as much as Mac did.  
  
"Maybe less than you think," he paused "Sarah, tell him how you feel," Mic turned around to look at her a last time before he walked out the door.  
  
***  
  
The next day when Mac came home from work, she found Mic's keys to the apartment on the kitchen table. The evidence of yet another failed relationship. However she knew she had made the right decision for both of them. 


	2. Part 2

AN: So I felt like writing another part of this and it seemed like a stupid idea to just keep it on my PC so here it is. I have an idea for a possible third part, but we'll see. Otherwise you can simply see this as a different way to start off the Mic- and Renéeless season 7.  
  
Part 2  
  
Two weeks later...  
  
Renée and Harm were entering his apartment. Renée was carrying Harm's suitcase since Harm had problems enough walking with his crutch.  
  
"Are you alright?" Renée asked him worriedly.  
  
"I'm fine, I'm fine," he repeated twice "Are you OK?"  
  
"Yeah, I keep telling myself better your suitcase than your casket.  
  
Harm looked around the apartment and decided on sitting down on the couch so he slowly made his way over to it.  
  
"Do you want something?" Renée asked.  
  
"Yeah," Harm said. He didn't know exactly when he had decided on doing this. Skates speak to him about grabbing hold of the things that were really important had definitely helped, but he had had this feeling even before she had said it. If he had died out there in the ocean, he would have left so many things in his life not the way he wanted them to be. "Renée, can you come over here and sit down?"  
  
"Is this about Mac?"  
  
"No, why would it be?"  
  
"Nothing," Renée said. For some reason Harm still didn't know about Mac breaking off her engagement and relationship with Mic and she sure didn't want to tell him.  
  
Harm looked at her for a while. He knew she was hiding something, but wondered if it really mattered anymore.  
  
"I don't think we should continue seeing each other," he started off hoping that she would agree with him on this.  
  
Renée didn't make a move. When he had said he wanted her to sit down she had known that something like this was coming. She didn't want it to come to this. She didn't want their relationship to end, but right now she thought that it might still be better if they went their separate ways.  
  
"I didn't mean to hurt you. I think we both know that we're never walking down the aisle," he paused "And it's not because of you, I think. It's because I'm not ready to make that commitment to you and I'm pretty sure that I never will be ready for that with you."  
  
"I know that... deep down," Renée looked up at him and in his eyes she saw sadness, but no regret. There was no hope for them anymore "I'm glad you know that. I kind of wish you would have told me this before I fell... before we got so serious. It would have saved us both a lot of grieve, I think."  
  
"I never thought we'd get this serious. It just happened..."  
  
"To be honest I didn't think that either back then. I should have realized I was never going to be the one for you. Someone already occupies that place in your heart."  
  
"Renée, this really isn't about Mac. She is still with Mic... anyway this isn't about her. This is about being honest with you and with myself."  
  
"Mic left."  
  
"What?"  
  
"As far as I know Mac broke up with him and he went back to Australia," Renée said. That was what Mac had told her when she had seen her at the hospital a week ago. Renée had asked where Mic was and Mac had told her about it quickly before she went in to see Harm. She still didn't know why and how Harm didn't know about the break-up and the truth was that it wasn't her concern anymore.  
  
"I... I didn't know that."  
  
"You should talk to her."  
  
"I know," Harm said.  
  
"I'm going to leave now." Renée got up from the couch, but before she walked out of the door she added "You're a good man, Harm, but I deserve a whole lot better than what you were willing to give me."  
  
"I know that too." Harm couldn't agree with her more. The door slammed shut behind her and she would most likely never return. 


	3. Part 3

AN: I had promised myself that I wouldn't write any more fan fiction until after my graduation, but somehow I was unable to keep that promise. Shame on me! (Love and Troubles is by the way already all written out and ready to be posted) It's the same deal as always with this story; It was written in one sitting and it hasn't been beta-read. I'm also not making any promises on continuing it with more parts, so you'll be as surprised as I'll be when/if the next part shows up. If you like it, please review. Thanks to everyone who already did!  
  
Part 3  
  
A couple of days after Harm and Renée's break up, there was a soft knock on Harm's door, almost like the hand who had created them still wasn't sure about knocking on the door. Harm had sat down to rest, but got up from his seat on the couch when he heard the knocks and walked slowly over to the door to open it up. The physical therapy was going better and better and in just another week he'd be allowed to return to work again. With that in thought he had worked a little to hard today and now he was suffering the consequences of that.  
  
"Coming," he shouted out.  
  
When he opened the door and Mac, who had come directly from the office and was still in uniform, looked at him. They were both silent for what to them felt like an eternity.  
  
"Come in," Harm said and stepped aside to let her into the apartment.  
  
"I shouldn't have come. I'm sorry..." Mac started to turn around and walk away. Harm tried to catch a hold of her arm to stop her from going, but failed and instead was close to losing his balance. Mac had noticed it in time and reached out to him to steady him. When he was once again solid on his to legs she still didn't let go of him. Somehow she was frozen in the position. She dared herself to look up into his eyes, but what she saw there made her look quickly down at her feet again and let go of Harm's arms. There was so much love and she knew that it was reflected in her own eyes. They couldn't have a repeat of what had happened on her engagement party. It was inappropriate. Harm was still with Renée, she thought.  
  
"Mac, please come in," he pleaded with her "So we can talk."  
  
"What can we talk about?" she asked him.  
  
"Us?" Harm proposed.  
  
"There is no us. There is you and Renée."  
  
"No, there isn't. We broke up," Harm told her.  
  
"Oh," she said.  
  
"Mac, can I ask you something?" he made a brief pause and put his finger under her chin to lift it up so she'd be forced to look into his eyes "Why did you come here?"  
  
"Because... I wanted to say goodbye."  
  
"Where are you going?" he asked feeling himself getting pretty worked up over her announcement. He turned around and walked into his apartment soon followed by Mac "You're not going to Australia, are you?"  
  
"No... no. I'm going to the Guadalcanal. I didn't want to leave without saying goodbye to you."  
  
"For how long? When are you leaving?" he asked her.  
  
"In an hour, for a couple of months," she answered with few words. They were once again facing each other and as they looked into each other's eyes they were having a silent conversation consisting simply on facial expressions and looks. Trying to in that way transmit the feelings that they had forbidden themselves to at this point express in words.  
  
"May I call you?" he asked. Somehow it seemed appropriate.  
  
"Of course... I'd like that," Mac answered and smiled seeming to relax a bit. "When I come back... Can I have a rain-check on that talk about... about us?"  
  
"Yes, sure, sure," he repeated and nodded at the same time.  
  
"I have to go," Mac said and started to back away unable to release the contact between their eyes.  
  
"I know." He remained standing in the same spot seemingly letting her walk away. "No, Mac wait!" he changed his mind.  
  
Mac stopped in her steps wondering what he was up to. He closed the distance between them as fast as he could and put his arms around her, letting his walking stick fall to the ground. He kissed her, tentatively at first waiting to see if she would want to back away, but just like a month ago on that porch, she didn't. She kissed him back and then they just hugged each other and buried their faces in the other's hair. If it had just been about their feelings, they could have stayed there forever, surviving on air and love. In their life, however, were a lot of other components than just their feeling for each other. That was obvious looking at their past.  
  
"Come back to me, Sarah. To me," Harm said and they slowly let go of each other and went over to the door. Both were too much aware that they had to say goodbye. At least for now. 


	4. Part 4

AN: I woke up today with the feeling that I just had to write another part of this. For some reason I enjoy writing fanfic more than doing my psychology homework... I'm glad there are other people out there who are also enjoying the story. Thank you for letting me know!  
  
Part 4  
  
"Harm, what are you doing here?" Harm had followed Mac to her cabin after their, for her shocking, meeting in the wardroom. She hadn't meant to be so harsh to him when they had talked about the special court martial, that his client was facing. She had just been so shocked and then eager to prove that whatever had happened between them that last night in Washington didn't mean she would go easy on him in court. It was especially important that everybody else knew that.  
  
"I was sent here by the admiral," Harm answered relieved that she seemed to be much calmer now that they were alone. They hadn't had much contact with each other for the last two weeks that she'd been away. He had called her right before he had been assigned this case, but he had understood that she needed some time alone and wasn't really interested in talking about them at that point. However, he was there now and with a lot of determination he wasn't going to let this occasion slip away.  
  
"Really?" Mac asked.  
  
"Maybe I subtly expressed a wish to go here..." Harm admitted. He closed the hatch behind him "Aren't you glad that I'm here?" Maybe it had been the wrong decision for him to go there. Maybe she still needed time.  
  
"...yes, yes I'm glad that you're here. Of course. But it makes everything so complicated," she looked up into his eyes and they continued the talk silently. She saw how hurt he was by her distancing herself from him, not just physically by going to the Guadalcanal, but also emotionally by not wanting to talk to him on the phone or right now.  
  
"I'm sorry if... if I'm moving to fast for you," Harm apologized. That night in his apartment had opened him up to the feelings he'd been trying to hide away from himself and locking them in again would hurt so much.  
  
"No, I'm the one who should be sorry. I don't mean to hurt you. I'm just so scared."  
  
"Of what?" Harm asked.  
  
"That what's between us isn't real. That we're just on the rebound. That we'll ruin our friendship over something that won't work out. That if we start something I won't be able to work with you. That we'll ruin our friendship over something that won't last. That it's already too late and I will disregard everything my head tells me and still jump into it," Mac stopped rambling.  
  
"Mac, what are your feeling," Harm asked and broke the silence "... for me?" he added so she wouldn't be able to avoid the question on a technicality. He reached out to her and put his hand on her arm in a vain attempt of trying to stop her from backing away.  
  
"Harm, I... I need more time."  
  
"But if our feelings are strong enough. We'll somehow work it out. So are you ready to let go?" he asked the same question that Mac had asked him before and Mac felt just as backed into a corner as he had.  
  
There was a knock on the door and Mac told Gunny, who was on the other side of the door that he could enter. Harm quickly removed his hand from her arm, but the heavy tension and raw emotions that were filling the room wasn't lost on Gunny when he walked in.  
  
"Maybe I should come back later," he wanted to back out of the room.  
  
"No," Mac ordered desperately. "What did you want?"  
  
Gunny continued to explain what he had found out and soon both he and Harm left her cabin. Harm had realized that now wasn't a very good time to have that conversation with her.  
  
During the rest of the case their behavior towards each other was friendly, but within the boundaries of professionalism.  
  
Ten minutes before Harm was leaving the ship with the COD, he was walking up to the deck and several times he turned his head and looked behind hoping that Mac would show up.  
  
"Hey," Mac shouted when he almost walked past the place where she had stood waiting for him.  
  
"Hey," he shouted back surprised. It was rather loud and they had to stand close together to be able to hear what the other was saying without screaming their lungs out.  
  
"I'm sorry," they both said at the same time. It caused them both to motion for the other to talk first, but then Harm started off.  
  
"I shouldn't have backed you into a corner like that. I can wait for you regardless of how long it takes."  
  
"My heart knows what it wants," Mac shouted back and put her hand right above her heart to show that she really meant what she was saying. "My head just needs some time to catch up with everything that has happened."  
  
The man in charge of the COD waved at Harm that he had to come and board now.  
  
"I'll come back to you," Mac promised him. With that she promised both him and herself that when she came home again, she'd be ready for a conversation about them.  
  
"I'm in love with you, Sarah," he said and turned around to walk away. He knew he wasn't allowed to say that, at least not now, not yet, but at that moment he didn't really care. It had come completely instinctly without any real thought about its consequences. He walked away so quickly that she didn't have a chance to react to it. He hoped that it would cause her to not feel so much pressure to do any oral admissions of her own feelings. Anyway he was already pretty sure what they were. 


	5. Part 5

AN: This is most likely the last part of this story. I wanted to wrap it up so that I can completely focus on the other story I'm writing. Great thanks to everyone who has reviewed!  
  
Part 5  
  
"The game starts in twenty minutes," Harm informed Sturgis as he sat down. Sturgis Turner, his old friend from the academy, had joined the JAG HQ two weeks ago.  
  
"I'm surprised you have a TV," Sturgis told him.  
  
"I haven't been so busy lately and had a lot of time at my hands, I guess," Harm tried to shrug it off "Everyone has a TV nowadays. It's not a big deal," he continued to defend himself,  
  
"Take it easy, Harm," Sturgis said and smiled. He accepted the beer Harm offered him.  
  
"So have you..." Harm started asking, but was interrupted by a knock on the door. He stopped talking and went over to open the door.  
  
There was no one else he would have rather seen there. In her green uniform and tired eyes with a slight flame of fire and hope, he had never seen a sight as beautiful. The world around them seemed completely unimportant.  
  
"Mac," he breathed out. There was a millisecond and then they were in each other's arms. They had their arms wrapped around each other's bodies, but that wasn't enough. Mac searched out Harm's mouth and the kiss and soon grew as they opened their mouths and they could fully taste each other in ways they never had before.  
  
Mac stepped forward and Harm backed into the apartment so Mac could close the door behind them.  
  
"Harm," she sighed into his mouth. Something in the corner of her eye moved and caught her attention. She jumped back, away from Harm, but because she was almost propped up against the door, she only accomplished to hit her head on it.  
  
Harm realized that he'd totally forgotten that Sturgis was there.  
  
"Ehm... this is..." he stammered and moved away from her slightly, but didn't quite let go of her, his one arm was still around her back. He wouldn't have been able to lose the physical contact. It was hard to tell who was most embarrassed by the situation, but Sturgis was the one who was most able snap out of it.  
  
"Sturgis Turner," he reached out his hand towards Mac and she took it.  
  
"Sarah Mackenzie," she was almost afraid to look into his eyes and when she looked down on her uniform jacket she noticed that three of the buttons had been opened. Once Sturgis released her hand she quickly buttoned them up again.  
  
"You must be the girl who's got Harm," he said and chuckled a little. At this moment though he was the only one had enough distance to find the whole situation amusing. He grabbed his jacket from the chair where he'd put it when he'd entered the apartment.  
  
Mac looked questionly at Harm wanting to get an explanation from him. Who was this man? Why hadn't Harm said he was there? And most of all what exactly did he mean by that last comment?  
  
"Sturgis is the new lawyer at JAG. Mac is also stationed at JAG HQ," Harm managed to explain. The rest of Mac's questions were left for the while being.  
  
"I'll see you both tomorrow then," Sturgis said and Harm and Mac stepped away from the door so he could move out.  
  
Harm couldn't get it into him to say that he was sorry their game-watching had been caught short. He just couldn't lie about that.  
  
When the door was shut behind Sturgis, Harm and Mac looked at each other still rather embarrassed.  
  
"You should have told me you had company," Mac said after a minute of awkward silence.  
  
"Yeah, I know... I kind of forgot... I guess you have that affect on me," Harm said and smiled at her hoping she'd forgive him.  
  
"You're funny," she smiled back and moved back into the position right in front of him. Her hand were on his hips, but that was the only physical contact they had at the moment "That was not exactly the way I like to be introduced to my new co-workers in," Mac complained a little more.  
  
"This way at least he won't get any ideas when he first sees you," Harm said and moved a little closer to Mac. They were now so close that even though they weren't actually touching they could feel the presence of the other person's body with their whole being.  
  
"What do you mean?" Mac asked confused.  
  
"I mean that way he won't get any ideas about trying to steal you away from me," Harm explained.  
  
They both leaned forward and their mouths met in a slow and sweet kiss. It was slower this time. They were in no hurry. Mac had come back.  
  
"Harm, I'm in love with you too," Mac whispered into his mouth "I'm sorry it took so long for me to tell you back."  
  
Harm didn't say anything back. He just swept her off her feet and lifted her up. They were on their way to his bedroom. Mac started working on opening the top buttons of his shirt. Nothing had ever felt more right. 


End file.
